My assignment to write my feeling

This is my written to complete my assignment from my teacher. This written talks about my feeling when i knew my result for my first IBT Toefl test and this written has had checked by my best teacher. Thanks a lot Ms. Wina.

This morning I knew my result for the first IBT Toefl Test that I took on April 23. The score is 72 so I have not achieved the required score yet which is 79. Actually, this is my first failure and hard for me to accept it. I am very sad and disappointed. I am a perfectionist person that usually have a high target, not only to pass the test but also to achieve the best result. However, in English I must deal with my weakness and my problem so my target is just to pass the test. In fact, I have not decided yet whether I will continue my study in Japan or not because of my personal problem. I believe that God will lead me to the best way of life. I just pray to God to help me do the test easily if God wants me go to Japan and to give me strength if I have to accompany my children and study in a local university. My mother and husband also support me although I fail. Because of them, I can release my sad feeling and I can smile today, although I am really so upset. This is the first time I can accept my failure with open heart. I hope this experience can make me wiser as a parent for my children.

Now, I must move on. I still have the second chance so I must use it to achieve the required score. My best teacher, Ms. Wina decides a new target, which is 81. Honestly, I want to achieve 85. Hopefully my dream will come true. When Ms. Wina said that we have to take the second test on July, I am a little bit sad, because at that time my husband will have already gone to Australia so he cannot give me support and accompany me to go to the test centre.

According to the explanation of the ETS, I have to improve my grammar, vocabulary, and develop my idea. From the part of IBT Toefl Test, my lowest score is in reading section. Actually, I knew it since I did some practice tests I used to get the lowest score in reading. I have difficulties in grasping the main idea and answering inference. My husband said that I have to read more academic materials. Unfortunately, I am very lazy to do it. I also agree with Sokhid’s opinion that we need more time to learn individually that I cannot get it from this training program. My husband advises me to study at night when my children sleep, but I do not do it because I feel so exhausted and I choose to sleep as well. When Ms. Wina proposed to improvise the schedule, I am very glad. Four hours we will study in class and the rest we can do self-study, I think this is a good idea so I have more time to study individually and decide the best way I learn English. Hopefully it can help me improve my English. Last but not least, I’m gonna let God to take care the result. Although, I know that I look like no spirit in my prayer, I think this is the best way I can do because I am still worried about my family if I have to go to Japan.